the veiled sibyl

I have heard and said more inanities, since you took me in tow, than in all the rest of my life.

My Photo

like a dripping faucet

Friday, September 15, 2006

Unemployment Day 11 - You Didn't Think They Could Hate You Now Did You?

Today was ACL Fest with DocD. It was hotter than fuck, but we made it out alive! I should have snuck in my real camera, but I didn't want to take a chance. I used my little Nikon P&S - boy what a difference! It was really frustrating to try and shoot with that thing - I don't see how I managed it before I got the "real" camera. I did manage to get a few good shots of Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, but we were just too far away from the others to get anything decent.

Of course, I had to get in an "ass shot" - 'cause that's what I do, right? So here ya go:

It's Leslie's. And wouldn't you know it? It's COVERED for once!!



Thursday, September 14, 2006

Unemployment Day 10 - It's All About Me

What is a blog for, if not self-indulgence?

Last night was very good. I went over to Trani's house so we could celebrate her release from Rontanamo. We put her little boy to sleep, then the vodka started flowing. . .

We decided to watch Dazed and Confused and make a drinking game out of it - so we would take a swig every time one of the characters said, "man". (You can bet your bibby that we were pretty shitted about oh, 10 minutes into the movie.)

We were having a really good time, then Ring, Ring. Of course, it was... guess who. I talked to him for a little - I was drunk but was trying to be careful and not say anything I'd regret. I ended up handing the phone over and he and T talked for hours! At first, it was just random shit, but then I guess they got ont he subject of yours truly. I only heard her side of the convo, but I guess she was trying to tell him (but not directly tell him) what the hell had gone wrong in this "relationship". She said things that were so on the nose - despite being totally trashed - and I hope that he understood at least some of it.

She, of all my friends, is probably the best person he could have talked to about me. She knows me - I think a lot better than either of us realize. Plus, she knows me as ME - by that I mean that she got to know me during the "weird times" of DxB and me, so she sees me as an individual, not "SheilaandLee". She's a keen observer too. She's sat there across from me for the past 9 months - she's seen me scramble to answer the phone, she's heard the one-sides of the conversations, she's heard me laughing, she can probably tell you who's calling me just by hearing the pitch of my voice when I answer. She's seen the frustration, the anger, the joy - all that in that goddamned little lab bench bay. She knows and she understands. And she used her knowledge and understanding to try... To try, I guess, to make it so that people are happy. She just wants to see someone happy.


Had to leave that last thought hanging because, Ring, Ring. He is so very exasperating. He listened to everything she said, and I told him even more just now. In fact, I told him exactly what I wrote here yesterday. The list. The thing I need to hear him say. I told him all of it. I so very badly wanted him to understand. But you know what he said? I can't be honest, I can't be responsible, I can't not be fucked up. He can't even try. He asked if I wanted him to be normal. I said yes, but more importantly, I want him to TRY! I told him he didn't have to be normal, he just had to freakin' TRY. I told him that wishes and wants and hopes didn't mean SHIT unless you DO SOMETHING to make them come about. He just listened and kept fucking drinking... This is so stupid. It's like I'm asking him to climb Mount Everest without any ropes. Why is it so goddamned hard for him to understand? ARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHH!


Okay. That's out of my system. I've got this stupid book open to the chapter on enzyme kinetics and I just can't bring myself to start reading it. The distraction would do me good. I was thinking about rocks.

Trani wrote the other day that her husband was her rock. That made me ponder about my "rock". I really don't think there is one anymore. I think my rock went away in April of 1990. I guess DxB has been the rock - we've been through so much shit together - sickness and death and hard times - but today, I feel as if I stand alone. Maybe it's because what's mostly eating at me right now is this situation - and obviously I can't go to DxB about that. But, would I even be in this situation if he was the rock? I mean, he was. But now? I guess after the thing with his step mom, and his spiral down during grad school - I guess that's when I saw my rock crumbling. Yes - that's it. I think, maybe I am still his rock. I feel like it. Sort of. I definitely feel a sense of responsibility for him. That's the complication. Do I hold him up? Sometimes I feel like I get pushed into that role. What do I do when that happens though? I back away. I'm doing the same to the other one. Backing away, but not ever letting go. I want to be the rock, but don't want to be the rock. I think I want my own fucking rock for a change! (Wow, this is just a whole bunch of thoughts coming out at once - pls forgive!)


Jesus X. Monkeyballs, you'd think I was getting ready to jump in front of a semi with all this bullshit, wouldn't you? It's not that bad. It's just all hitting at once. I can tell that DxB is not doing well. I can sense another breakdown is coming. Then there's the other one. I worry about that too - too many things have been said that I can't ignore. I've freaking been through this depression bullshit with too many of my friends to not see the symptoms. But I've also been through it enough times to know what to do, and what not to do. Unfortunately, it's a lot of watching and waiting. But I feel like I have to watch over not just one now, but two. That's fine. I can handle it. But every now and then I have to vent so I don't explode. Rather than trapping you in a face-on conversation where I bleed your ears with it, I will do it here. And then you can decide to let me bleed your eyes, or you can decide that FARK is a hell of a lot more fun!

Thanks for listening,


Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Unemployment Day 9 - Another "AMF" on the Horizon

Adios, MOTHER FUCKERS (ver 3.0)

Three cheers for Trani! She got a new job today!!!! Thank the GODS - now she will be able to leave Hell behind her! She is leaving science for a while, which is probably a good thing. Burnout is a bitch. Well wishes and good luck go out to her!


There's no "I" in CLUSTERFUCK

I just got some weird news about my health insurance. Seems the policy which was supposed to be good until September 30th, was cancelled before I even left my job. Even odder, it was "retroactively" cancelled - the date the insurance company told me it was canceled was well before my last date on the job. In fact, I looked at my records, and I got a prescription filled (which the insurance covered) back then, but now the insurance company says I was NOT covered during that time. Then they looked into it further and found that there was a discrepancy between the "main" system and the "local" system (whatever that means) with the main system showing me as being covered, and the local showing me cancelled. (What in the holy hell?) The insurance rep said that he showed that additional paperwork which changed my coverage date had been submitted after I left the job and signed all the stuff that said my benefits would last until the 30th. That's fishy, ain't it?? Hopefully this is all a typical State mistake... If not... Oh boy.


I can be the girl you want, but you can't be the man I need

My call from yesterday has not been repeated. I think I am thankful for that, but I'm not sure. You probably wonder why I go on and on about this. Believe me, I wonder that too. There has been so much emotion, so many tears, so damned much energy spent on this - is it really worth all that?

I think it is. And I know you probably will disagree. But here's my thoughts on it, for what they are worth.

Despite all the insanities, there is something about the two of us that really clicks - like those freaking e-harmony commercials - that's us. It's not just physical - that flame burns out rather quickly. In fact, after I put an end to that stuff, we just got closer and closer. (That's when the trouble starts, you know - when you become friends.) I think most of the time that I bemoaned this doomed thing was when I would wish, wish, wish that he was "better".

One time he told me he knew he wasn't good enough for me. I half-heartedly said "No, no..." full-well knowing it was true. And he knew it was true too. But he thinks that to be "good enough" he has to drive a great car, have a big house on the lake, have a 300K a year job, be buff and tan and perfectly attired. He's completely missing the point. I don't want any of that. What I'd want is for him to be clean and sober, responsible, honest, have a job (any job!), and stop depending on the handouts of others. Of course, those things, which come so easy to most of us, seem to him as impossible as having the multimillion dollar lake house with a Lamborghini in the driveway.

He's always telling me that he wants to be "normal". I've heard that from him time and time again. But you know the one thing I've NEVER heard? "I want to be normal, and I will work as hard as I can to be that way."

That one sentence, genuinely spoken, would change everything. But I know I'll never hear it. And so this thing is as it is, as it will be always.





I have a Lion who sometimes makes me happy. I have a Lion who mostly makes me sad. My Lion paces, and growls, and struts, and wants. My Lion desires greatness, to be treated in a way that befits his kingly presence. My Lion is Giacomo - a self-described chevalier, a gambler, a seducer. But true happiness eludes my Lion at every turn. My Lion darts from place to place and from soul to soul in desperation. My Lion sees the futility in this existence, but thinks that if only this, or this, or that would happen, things would be the way he wants.

But what is it my Lion wants? What is it my Lion's seeks? Nothing different than any of the rest of us. My Lion wants Life - but more importantly, my Lion wants two lives lived as one. My Lion falls in love. My Lion loves love. But my Lion fails at love, and love fails my Lion.

My Lion had two Swans, but they hatched their eggs and flew away. My Lion had a Cheetah, but his Cheetah ran too fast. My Lion had a Vixen, but his Vixen turned on him. My Lion had a Wise Owl, but she opened her eyes and returned to her nest.


I have a Fish who used to try and swim with the current, but now he swims upstream. My Fish may be happy or he may be sad, but that matters not, for my Fish is content. My Fish follows his bliss, sometimes finding it. My Fish knows to look where it is least expected.


I have a Goat who broods and paces on his rocks. My Goat has much, but thinks he has little. My Goat has a Hungry Ghost inside of him that causes him much distress. My Goat has Blindspots which prevent him from seeing things that are there, and Furies which make him see things that are not there.

My Goat lives alone, but not alone. My Goat has a Helper Monkey, but only needs it rarely. My Goat had a Worm, who lived as such for a very long time. One day my Goat found, in place of his Worm, a Cocoon from which emerged a Butterfly. My Goat's Butterfly took flight, but died on the wing.


I have a Snake who slithers here and there. My Snake is cunning, cruel, and kind. My Snake uses his skills to both build and destroy. My snake is ruthless, but my trust in him is unbounded.




Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Unemployment Day 8 - Death of a Politician and the Revival of Futility

Let's start out with a running list of...

What's Been Replaced On the Nissan 350Z

Tires (6)
Tire Pressure Monitors (4)
Drivers' Side Window Motor (1)
Passenger Side Window Motor (1)
Hatchback Latch (1)
Gas Tank Cover Latch (1)
Rear Strut (1)

and of course we can't forget...

Bose CD Stereo (9)


We went to the Texas State Cemetery today. Beautiful place, but good lord, was it humid! I barely took any pictures because I was afraid of drenching my camera with sweat... (nice thought, yes?) And because it was so oppressively nasty out, I had no ability to even try to do anything "artsy" with my photographs. So here's some tourist-quality snapshots!

9/11 Memorial

Stephen Fuller Austin - Father of Texas

Miriam "Ma" Ferguson - First woman governor of Texas

Statue on John B. and Nellie Connaly's graves

Statue from a state judge's grave.

It was very pretty, but kind of boring. All the stones were mostly new - many of the people had been reinterred here much after their original burials, and new memorials were commissioned. And it occurred to me that this was possibly the least religious cemetery I'd ever been to. Not sure exactly why - maybe it was just my view of polticians influencing my judgement?


It's Day 13, and guess what? Ring, ring. It was as I had thought - a trip north, a disappointment, a return, a new number, and now - aimless wanderings? I didn't know what to say - never know what to say. The question for me now is... is the same as it's always been.

I remember when I said to Oka, "I have a date tonight - sort of." Followed it with, "I expect this to last until Sunday... Monday tops." Famous last words, of a sort. How many last words have been spoken? And how many more?




Monday, September 11, 2006

Unemployment Day 7 - Rain and the Internet

X found Y again and they are apparently hanging out. Funny stuff, that is. I wonder if X asked about A and B, and what Y might have said. Or maybe Y might have asked about Z... or maybe X mentioned Z... Surely if Z was mentioned, then B was mentioned. And, was the illustrious Q there? What would Q think of Y?


This woman claims to be 40 years old. If so, that is sad. Really, really, sad.


I'll leave you with some better pictures:



Sunday, September 10, 2006

Unemployment Day 6 - Contemplative

Went to a friend's baby shower today. It was nice because I kind of lost touch with her after I left SWT for Austin. I used to work with both her and her sister, so it was good to see them again.


DxB has been in a real pisser of a mood. Something about none of his musical equipment working right. He's throwing fits left and right - and by "throwing", I mean, literally throwing stuff. I don't really know what to do, so I just sit here quietly.


It's been 10 days. I drove past the apartment today - I had to - it was on the way to the shower. Couldn't tell if anyone still lives there, but the boards he put up to keep the dog on the balcony are still there. Today was kind of hard, actually. I was kind of remembering the "good things" - although it seems like for every good memory there's a matching bad one. Still a little sad - certain songs make me feel droopy. But, I had a long talk with MrWrong - he's the only one who knows the whole, whole, whole story. He didn't give me any advice or anything, he just helped me organize my thoughts.


The other day when I was driving to Austin to take my random drug test I saw there was an accident on the southbound side of the highway. All I could see was that an 18-wheeler was pulled over on the side. Found out yesterday that someone had stepped out in front of it and gotten killed. Probably suicide, but they're not sure. That's the second time I've heard of that happening here in the last few years. What would make you choose that as your way out? I guess it's more of a sure bet than pills or trying to hang yourself, or even shooting yourself. But man, you'd have to think of what you'd put the driver of the big rig through.


I've been reading semi-random Myspace blogs, and I found one that a friend of a non-friend of mine writes. I know very little of him, but he's one of those guys who has no male Myspace friends, only chicks. And they all leave gushy, flirty, suggestive comments for him. I guess this one woman decided he was all that, and started sending him messages that got progressively more stalker-esque. So Friday, he wrote a blog complaining about her advances, but never made any mention of her identity whatsoever. He just talked about a woman he called an "online nutbag" and "ghetto trash". Then she, in a move of abject brilliance, left a nasty-gram comment - thereby informing the whole myspace world of the identity of the "online-nutbag-ghetto-trash". Funny.

Then on Saturday, he wrote a humorous entry - about peanut butter. (I hate to ID the man, but you have to know his name for this to work - it's Jesus.) Here's a sampling:

I really like peanut butter. Does anyone out there have a comfort food that just really makes you feel better after a long day? Mine is peanut butter between two slices of wheat bread and strawberry preserves with a glass of milk. Anything could be going on and I'd be ok. Hey Jesus, your house burnt down! Peanut butter. Hey Jesus, your paycheck came up short. Peanut butter. . .

Then comes the kicker:
Hey Jesus, that psycho stalker that sent you scary letters is now commenting on your blog angrily and is too stupid to know how to unsuscribe and expects you to do it .... lock all the doors, disconnect your phone, police report, xanax, 1/2 bottle of jack daniels, buy a gun and.... Peanut butter.

Kind of amusing.

This is what "psycho stalker" wrote back: (emphasis mine, spelling all hers!)

you are a asshole n useing gods name in vane gives you all the bad luck you can handle n your the nut , i dont contact you so dont be abusive to me with your wining n actusations , go die in your self pitty crazy

J-man writes back:

I'm not using God's name in vain. My first name is Jesus. Pronounced in Spanish as "heh soos".

Pretty goddamned funny, if you ask me. (Oops - used his name in vane...)

Ah Myspace... good times.




Unemployment Day 5 - The Boredom is Hitting Me

1. Got up.
2. Posted pics from last night.
3. TVS blog.
4. MySpace niceties.
5. Grocery shopping.
6. Played with kittens.
7. Made pot roast.
8. Watched M.
9. Went to bed.



Saturday, September 09, 2006

Unemployment Day 4 - Murder, Ojo and Dr. Texas

You hear some funny conversations in waiting rooms.

I was up in Austin waiting to take a pee test for my new job. The room was crowded with truck drivers (I guess it was truck driver random drug test day?) and they were talking about who's hiring, and who pays what, etc. Two of the guys were with Goodwill, and one of the other guys asked if they were hiring. Another dude popped into the conversation and said he'd applied there, but they wouldn't take him because of his background. Another dude in the room said, "But Goodwill takes everybody - that's what they do, help folks out!" Then the other guy said, "Yeah, but they said their insurance won't cover me - I mean, I got a couple of murders and an assault on my record, so they said they're afraid I might snap at work or something."


Then he added, "Yeah, they'll take all the other felonies - but they won't cover assault." He kept harping on the assault, not the COUPLE OF MURDERS. Does Goodwill take murderers but not assaulters? (As Doc D said: Assault just means you can't carry things through to reach your goal.)


Mal de Ojo!

I got a call from Trani and she told me all kinds of funny-crazy crap was going on in Hell. It seems somebody put a hex on NRA! Of course, Trani thought your humble author was responsible, but I didn't do any of it! Really!!

First off, NRA was doing an experiment, and she poured something into a supposedly new, clean tube, but her solution turned blue! (This happened to me once in Organic lab - we were identifying unknowns and my stuff turned blue and no one could figure out why. Odd because everything in organic chem is either colorless or yellow...) Anyway, she carried on despite the blue, but in the end, only half of her samples worked. (I did the same with my organic experiment - I identified my unknown incorrectly, but it was a similar compound to the one I determined it to be.) I'm pretty sure this was the work of evil and disgruntled smurfs.

Next, Cakes tried to use some water from NRA's big carboy, but NRA told her not to because her water was bad. Trani went over and opened the bottle and was blasted with a wave of funk that she described as seriously bad milk. They looked, but the water was perfectly clear - no sign of growth or anything - just the stench. NRA was afraid to dump the water, knowing that the smell would overtake the lab - so she took the jug to the back lab to release the toxic waste.

NRA was perplexed, and Trani told her that someone had given her the Ojo, and she should probably light her "Good Luck" candle. NRA agreed, but when she tried to light her candle, it wouldn't stay lit!! Creepy!

A little later, NRA went into the fish room and noticed that the door to the room wouldn't shut. Trani went and looked and found that the bottom of the door was hitting the floor, keeping it from closing all the way. They immediately thought that the building had shifted again. (Side note: the building has two parts, the old and the new - the new part apparently shifted some time after the whole thing was remodeled, and there was a gap that was up to about two-inches wide in some places between the old and new sections.) So, they went to "check the crack" to see if it was now something more like a gaping hole. Guess what? The crack was NOWHERE TO BE FOUND! I guess the building just shifted back to where it was supposed to be??

Now, I know I said that I was blameless for all of this, but I gotta admit right here, right now, that YES, I brought a crane to campus the other night, and YES I totally shifted the building. (It was a real bitch hiding that crane from the cops, man! I disguised it by painting yellow and brown spots on it, and told San Marcos' finest that it was a giraffe. Worked like a charm...)


Later that night was the big TR/Sabbath Crow/Adrian show at Headhunters.
DocD, YHA and Heather

DocD and I were swarmed by this small pack of Ohio State fans:
who latched onto us like leeches! I think it was simply because we were the least tattooed and least dyed - and therefore the least intimidating - girls in the place...

They were actually pretty nice, though. At one point they called DocD "Miss Texas". She corrected them: "That's DOCTOR Texas."

The bands were great. D'Ablo got up and jammed with the TRs - he'd only practiced with them a couple of times, so there was some pretty funny non-verbal (as in "what the fuck is he playing?") communication being tossed back and forth between DxB and him.

SC was great - and this time J. did NOT make my ears bleed! Slacker.

Patrice Pike got up and sang Communication Breakdown with Adrian, which was cool. (Well, she sang at it - every note was perfect, but she admittedly didn't know the words!)

After the show was over, we all headed to IHOP and ate like pigs. PIGS, I tell you! I think we got home at 5:30 in the morning. Good times.
More pics on Photobucket.



Thursday, September 07, 2006

Unemployment Day 3

Another gorgeous day, and we were off on a road trip again. This time it wasn't horror movie sets, but the ZOO! I've always loved the zoo, and the one in San Antonio is definitely one of the best. Even if all the animals are inside getting away from the heat, you can still have a great time. It's landscaped beautifully, and the new exhibits really look natural and comfortable for the critters.

I remember how my Dad would always take me there when I was little, and even back then it was a pretty kickass zoo. There were a few wire cages, but most of the large animals were in these barless, big open air enclosures surrounded by deep dry moats to protect you from the animals (and the animals from you).

One of the more insane displays was right across from the elephants and was called "Monkey Island". This was a typical SA Zoo enclosure - open, with a moat, and a huge fake moutain-like construction in the center. There were large areas of flat horizontal space, which was painted a bright aquamarine blue. (To simulate water maybe??) What made the display weird however, were it's inhabitants. It was an odd mixture of Ethiopian baboons and North American mountain goats! Now, even as a child I realized how strange that was, but I'll tell you - I loved Monkey Island! Here's a pic from back in the day - apparently this was before the mountain goats were added.

In later years, the baboons were removed and "Monkey Island" featured only the mountain goats. Still later, the goats disappeared and the place was filled up with those miscellaneous little deer-type animals (feeder deer, as I call them.)

On our visit today, we saw that Monkey Island had been completely dismantled to make room for a new African animals display. I guess that's good - a lot of those big animals are still in their 1960's enclosures - but I (and I'm sure many others) will never forget the thrill of seeing a passel of baby baboons trying to ride on a mountain goat.

Here's a few pictures I shot while there:
lion lounging
chubby tiger

"Sububu" the black rhino

capybara rolling in the mud

scarlet macaw

anteater at the door



clouded leopard

(can you tell I like the kitties best?)

More shots on my Flickr site.


As I was sitting here typing this, an ad for TGIFriday's came on, and apparently they are offering something called "fried mac-n-cheese" now. What in the holy hell? Isn't it bad enough for you to begin with, but then you gotta go and FRY it? This country's going to hell in a deep-fried handbasket, I tell ya!


That's about it for today. Check back tomorrow, there may be another adventure on my horizon!


Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Unemployment Day 2: "If I have any more fun today I don't think I can take it!"

Road Trip!

Everyone knows how crazy DxB is about horror movies, especially the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, right? Well, today we decided to get in the car and go check out some of the locations where the movie was filmed back in 1974!

First off, we did NOT get a chance to visit the actual TCM house where Leatherface and his Familia did their "business". It does still exist, and it was moved from it's original location near Round Rock to Kingsland. That is about seventy miles north, and we just ran out of time. The house is restored to it's former Victorian beauty though, and is currently located on the grounds of the Antlers Inn. I think the owners did have it leased out as a restaurant, but it looks like it is up for lease by a new tenant... Here's a shot from the movie:

And here's a shot I found on the internet of the house as it was in about 2004:

Next time. . .

Now. On to our trip!

First, we headed east towards Bastrop to find the gas station/BBQ where Sally, Franklin and crew stopped before they headed out to the Old Franklin place. I'm certain we've driven past this place on one of our many hunts for pokeweed back in the JDI lab days. Unfortunately, I never noticed it.

Here's the still from the movie:

It's a bit different now, the gas pumps are long gone, and there've been a few different owners:

I'd heard that it was currently a BBQ joint(!), but when we got there, it looked like the place had recently shut down. In fact, there was a handwritten sign that said "For Sale or Lease" tacked to one of the cedar porch posts. (You know I was looking for a listing on that one - unfortunately I couldn't find shit - and there wasn't a number to call on the sign. . .)

DxB got out and walked around a bit, but I'm always worried about being met by the business end of a shotgun, (not to mention CHAINSAWS!) so I stayed in the car and took the pics.

Next we headed north towards Leander, to the graveyard that was shown in the opening scenes of the film:

In that shot, the "corpse sculpture" is mounted on a fake tombstone that was placed in the gravel driveway of the cemetary. I think I was standing in that approximate spot when I took this shot:

Looks like some of the stones in the original pic have been replaced by newer versions, and the trees are certainly much bigger!

The cemetary itself was pretty interesting, it is for the town of Bagdad, which I assume was "lost" once the railroad bypassed it.

The large tombstone belongs to C.C. Mason - I wonder what was originally on the top of it?

Now, I'm kind of a cemetery afficionado - it's not as weird as it sounds, those places are beautiful - and I gotta tell you, this one threw me off. Most of the old graveyards I've visited in Texas are laid out in a pretty specific plan. Regardless of denomination, folks were laid out with their feet pointing east. (Generally, this was so that when the second coming came, they would rise up and face their maker - who would be coming from the eastern horizon.) And normally, as you look at a gravestone, you imagine that the person is buried so that the engraving on the stone is at their head - as in, if the stone fell over, engraved side down, it would fall on their face. At this particular graveyard, I could not for the life of me figure out which way people were buried! It seemed that the people there were prone to putting the engravings on what we would consider the "back" of the tombstone.

This yard was interesting too because there were a relatively large number of above-ground styled crypts. I say "styled" because it was apparent that these were just concrete monuments built over the typical in-ground burials:

(OK, obviously I could go on and on about graveyards. I'll stop here.)

We were going to head up to Round Rock to find the land where the old house had stood during the filming, but we decided to skip it for now. I hear La Frontera bought all that area and development is fast and furious, with SH 45 running practically right through the old property. Maybe we'll get up there sometime, but I think it'd just be a bunch of pictures of either overgrown fields or construction cones or brand new houses going up. . . (Too bad.)

Overall, an enjoyable unemployed day!


Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Unemployment Day 1

It's finally raining! Had some plans for today, but the weather is going to postpone them. Check back tomorrow. . .

Not much going on today - bought a domain name (, fielded 7.5 billion emails about the Non-Jack Pool, got an email from my new boss that had a total of six exclamation points in it. (Guess he's excited about getting a new group member.)

Yesterday was fun though - we went out to a BBQ some friends had. Okashii asked me if I did anything redneck for Labor Day, and I said no at first - but in thinking about it - this was a BBQ, and it was at a trailer (triple wide!), and there was an above-ground pool, and it was only accessible by dirt road, and there were six or seven dogs there, and there were people playing horseshoes, and the principle beer of choice was Lone Star (although yours truly had some Blue Moon and some Stella). . . So yeah, I guess I had a good redneck time. It's just that the other party-goers were not too awfully redneck-y in your typical central Texas sense. Just a bunch of tattooed musicians. . .

(Hmm - I took like 200 pictures and I didn't get ONE of our hostess. Guess it's because she was always scurrying in and out of the kitchen.)

The people that hosted the party are just great. They're a married couple who were living in NOLA, but came to Austin after the Katrina crap. It's kind of crazy, but they are sooo much like me and DxB it's kind of scary. We're calling them our tall, skinny, tattooed Doppelgangers. Their house was exactly as I had imagined it - just like ours! (Well, like ours was before we got all gosh-darned civilized and moved into town. . .) Seriously - it was weird! Trailer in the woods, a mess o' dogs and cats, a hastily-constructed welded wire fence... DEJA VU! Then the inside - nice stuff, lots of color, and fucking musical equipment EVERYWHERE!!

Doppel. Gangers.

So, as you can see, my first day of unemployment was pretty uneventful. But, I have a treat in store for you tomorrow if the weather allows!



Hold on, I just noticed something.

It may have worked after all. . .

Four days...

Will keep you posted.



Friday, September 01, 2006

I'm free, and I'm waiting for you to follow me!

God, it's finally OVER!

Today was my last day at the nuthouse I called work. I can't believe I stayed in that nightmare for so freakin' long.

The boss didn't even show up today - not that I expected him to. Several people have left over the years and I can't really remember a single time he showed up on any one of their last days. Chicken-shit, that's what you call that.

I'm so glad to be done with the psychotic bullshit, the vindictiveness, and the small and petty behavior.

There's all sorts of jacked-up rumors going around about why we left - I've overheard everything from "she's getting a new job" (true) to "she and DxB are fighting and may break up" (wha?? - goddamn, get with the program - that shit went down and came back around MONTHS ago!) Who freakin' knows what they're really saying!

(Excuse me while I rant - gotta get all this bitching out...)

Now, I don't really give a good goddamn what they say about us after we're gone - I know it'll be bad though - not a single person has left this lab without being blacklisted and spoken ill of. In fact, just yesterday, the secretary commented that I may get to work with our former student, Bunny, at my new job. She said they'd gotten a letter requesting a recommendation for her from my new company. I thought that was great - she was a kick-ass researcher and I think she left because she got tired of Bipolo's insanity. Anyway, NRA (Or Spineless Brainwashed Cow #1) just HAD to say, "Oh, well, that's pretty bold of her to ask for a recommendation. I mean, under regular circumstances it'd be okay - but considering what she did to us, and how she left... well, I would NEVER recommend her."

What the living FUCK?

Let me tell you how Bunny left. There was a lab meeting (you know how this is gonna end already, don't you?) Bunny, Trani and I were trying to explain Bunny's latest results to Bipolo. But, of course, the belligerent asshat REFUSED to listen to us, and insisted that everything was wrong. It got a little heated, and I don't exactly remember what happened, but Trani and I had to leave the meeting to go get some more info, and when we came back, he was still in full-on rant mode. I argued our point - I always took it upon myself to defend whomever he was attacking - felt it was my duty. Anyway, I think we FINALLY yelled enough to sort-of-kind-of get him to see what had been done. But, right after that, Bunny took her last exam of the semester, came back and cleaned out her drawer, and was never heard from again. Even though we got things worked out, I think she'd just had damn near enough of the fucking abuse and bullshit. Who can blame her? Hell, she was the smart one for getting out when she did!

So, in NRA's mind, Bunny's departure was just an outright BETRAYAL of the entire operation. What. Ever.

(I see what Bipolo meant when he said he was going to staff the lab with people who were just like him...)

Then again today, the Bunny subject came up again, and Spineless Brainwashed Cow #2 made a similar remark. Oh I can't tell you how glad I am that I am gone.

But I am, and while this is probably not my last bitch session on this subject, at least I’m out of there.