Full body shudder
Images, man... I got images in my head, and they're scarin' the fuck outta me.
JoeToe spent a good chunk of time this morning giving me a very detailed description of how wild his girlfriend got after taking Xanax this weekend. I'm not going to suffer you the details, suffice it to say that the word "erotic" was used on multiple occasions, and that body-movement demonstrations were included.
I ask you gentle reader, did I really need that shit? Jesus Christ, I barely got a cup of coffee down and the first thing I see is JoeToe bumpin' n' grindin'? GODDAMN, somebody up there hates me.
To make it worse (there's always something to make it worse in my world, isn't there?) I was still in shock because of a horrific dream I'd had that morning. In the dream, Cakes and I wandered into this (very red) room to find one of our (current) coworkers on the floor on her (sharp) knees giving the business to a (former) coworker. Shit, what the fuck is wrong with me??
I had a great epiphany today about storage. The more storage space you have, the more shit you buy to fill that space. Less space equals less stuff, isn't it obvious? I'm going to start bricking in my closets tomorrow. I don't know what I'm going to do with that four-foot high pile of shoes I've got though - maybe I can use them as masonry. (Sometimes I get this idea that the shoes will become a writhing living mass someday, kind of like a footwear-Audrey, and as I open that closet door one last time they'll pull me in with their living laces - their straps and heels digging in so I can't escape. )
Early, early this morning I woke up and said to the alarm clock, "I'll fool you!" and I switched it so the alarm wouldn't go off. (Hence no morning update, as I got to work around 9:45...) I have all sorts of morning-psychoses regarding my clock (it's been a rolltop desk lately) but I've not actually addressed it until this morning. Things can only go downhill from here.
DxB actually called the electric company today about the cracked-out power issues. The guy came to the door and told me that he'd found a problem in the transformer, and that it looked like it might have been overheating and had "kind of caught on fire a little." A little? Well hell, I guess that's better than catching fire a lot? It's kind of like the time we had a power outage in Luling, and this Larry the Cable Guy lookalike from the electric company came out, pointed his flashlight at a smoldering squirrel carcass at the base of our pole and said, "Well, heere's yer problem rite der!"
Always,
S
JoeToe spent a good chunk of time this morning giving me a very detailed description of how wild his girlfriend got after taking Xanax this weekend. I'm not going to suffer you the details, suffice it to say that the word "erotic" was used on multiple occasions, and that body-movement demonstrations were included.
I ask you gentle reader, did I really need that shit? Jesus Christ, I barely got a cup of coffee down and the first thing I see is JoeToe bumpin' n' grindin'? GODDAMN, somebody up there hates me.
To make it worse (there's always something to make it worse in my world, isn't there?) I was still in shock because of a horrific dream I'd had that morning. In the dream, Cakes and I wandered into this (very red) room to find one of our (current) coworkers on the floor on her (sharp) knees giving the business to a (former) coworker. Shit, what the fuck is wrong with me??
I had a great epiphany today about storage. The more storage space you have, the more shit you buy to fill that space. Less space equals less stuff, isn't it obvious? I'm going to start bricking in my closets tomorrow. I don't know what I'm going to do with that four-foot high pile of shoes I've got though - maybe I can use them as masonry. (Sometimes I get this idea that the shoes will become a writhing living mass someday, kind of like a footwear-Audrey, and as I open that closet door one last time they'll pull me in with their living laces - their straps and heels digging in so I can't escape. )
Early, early this morning I woke up and said to the alarm clock, "I'll fool you!" and I switched it so the alarm wouldn't go off. (Hence no morning update, as I got to work around 9:45...) I have all sorts of morning-psychoses regarding my clock (it's been a rolltop desk lately) but I've not actually addressed it until this morning. Things can only go downhill from here.
DxB actually called the electric company today about the cracked-out power issues. The guy came to the door and told me that he'd found a problem in the transformer, and that it looked like it might have been overheating and had "kind of caught on fire a little." A little? Well hell, I guess that's better than catching fire a lot? It's kind of like the time we had a power outage in Luling, and this Larry the Cable Guy lookalike from the electric company came out, pointed his flashlight at a smoldering squirrel carcass at the base of our pole and said, "Well, heere's yer problem rite der!"
Always,
S
posted by your humble author | 11:15 PM
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