Weirdos, every one.

The Sunrise-Shamos™ Guide to Life presents:

13 Reasons to Reconsider Your Relationship

13. He sends you this as a text message: 8===D

12. He gets excited if you give him potpourri and tealights.

11. He can't tell the difference between the purple bunny and the green bunny.

10. He thinks a good way to unwind after work is to invite his (male) buddies over to "share a bottle of wine."

9. He asks you to dress up as Wonder Woman for him.

8. He has more pairs of shoes than you. (Especially if he has more green shoes than you.)

7. He's spent time in jail for stealing someone's house.

6. He's a civil servant. Or a Marine.

5. He IM's you to tell you all about his trip to the Dallas Fetish Ball.

4. He kisses you with his eyes open to "see if you're enjoying it."

3. Two words: Shaved Pits

2. He's been seeing you for more than two years and he still can't figure out if you're his girlfriend or not.

1. You find a strap-on in his closet.