the veiled sibyl

I have heard and said more inanities, since you took me in tow, than in all the rest of my life.

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Thursday, May 18, 2006

Girls! Girls! Girls!

As promised, Your Humble Author's Top Ten List Of Chicks I Would Totally Do If I Were Lesbian And A Few Whom I Would Possibly Consider Doing Anyway Even Though I'm Not A Lesbian:

NUMBER 10: Fairuza Balk

Okay, you have to ignore her sort of... enormous mouth and look at those gorgeous eyes of hers. The one thing (that is, besides her gape) that bothers me is that she kind of sort of looks like this loopy chick I used to work who dated a cop and was just plain batshit crazy. . .

NUMBER 9: Gong Li

This Chinese girl I knew once told me that most Chinese thought Gong Li was ugly because she was too fat and didn't fit their standard of beauty. There is obviously something wrong with those people...

NUMBER 8: Christina Ricci

Short, round-faced girls with big eyes? Who can resist them?? (Plus the fact that she reminds me of the always adorable DocD doesn't hurt her standing on the hotties list!)

NUMBER 7 (tie): Rose McGowan/Dita Von Teese

Yeah, I have the same taste in women as Marilyn Manson. What of it??

NUMBER 6: Bettie Page

It's really more about the shoes. . .

NUMBER 5: Salma Hayek

Two words: They're REAL

NUMBER 4: Angelina Jolie

Okay, she's kind of scary and maybe a little freaky, but seriously. . .

NUMBER 3: Aishwarya Rai

If you've never heard of her, she's an Indian Bollywood actress who's been billed as "The Most Beautiful Woman in the World". Can't say as I disagree!

NUMBER 2: Sherilyn Fenn

Ever notice how David Lynch seemed to be obsessed with women who had a deathly pallor to their skin? Can you not say that that pallor is DAMN SEXY though???

NUMBER 1: Jennifer Connelly

My green-eyed fantasy girl. Yep, she's the one. I'd switch teams for her any day. ANY DAY, I tell you!!!


For those of you who might like girls who don't have dark hair... here's DxB's list of hottie chicks:

NICOLE KIDMAN: The young Nicole, before the botox and plastic surgery nightmare began.

DEBORAH HARRY: Remember that time she was on the Muppet Show and she sang One Way Or Another (I'm gonna get ya...) to that big furry monster thing with the huge eyes and eyelashes while chasing him all over the place? That's burned in DxB's memory forever...

POISON IVY RORSCHACH: The red-headed guitar player for The Cramps. Red Headed. Guitar Player. That pretty much says it all, doesn't it?

BERNADETTE PETERS: I think this was his first crush




Anonymous trani said...

hahaha.. bernadette peters. he cracks me up!!!

9:35 PM  

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