I dream of fire

Last week was more insane than usual, and that's saying a lot. Of course, it started with "The Episode" with MS, and sort of went downhill from there.

Work was insane. Soduc was totally out of her mind - she started that "butting into other people's business" crap again. There was some very minor issue with feeding of fish, but it was totally resolved between the parties involved - that is, until she stuck her ass in it. Then all hell broke loose. I swear this woman is insane! She continuously makes mountains out of molehills, driving people to the verge of insane rage along the way! By the end of the week, Cakes had been in tears, I was *this close* to resigning, NRA was under the impression that Soduc thought she wasn't working enough, and Trani and Spigot were completely and utterly confused! Fan-freakin'-tastic!

Then there was some major issue between DxB and MaryAchee. Something that started with mineral oil and ended with expletives being shouted. I tried to talk to DxB about this, but he was just enraged and refused to discuss it. Later on, we were able to talk about it a little, but he has some kind of pathological distrust/dislike/whatever for MaryA. She's got the type of personality that just pushes his nuclear button. We'll see what becomes of all that.

And DxB. . . hoo boy. After his fight with MaryA, he printed out all this stuff on bipolar disorder that he wanted me to read. Then he wouldn't let me look at it. Next day, he wanted me to read it, so I did. (Read it too, if you want, Here, Here, Here and Here.) It was mostly stuff I already knew, but there was some good information/advice for family members living with a bipolar person. DxB has been doing a lot of research and is trying to deal with the problem a little better. One good thing is that he's finally understanding how hard it is for me (and everyone else around him) to deal with his constant irritability/anger/intensity. For my part, I have to understand that the irritation and anger is not directed at me, or at anything in particular. It's just free-floating. A lot of the time, it DOES get directed at me, just because I am an easy target. I have to learn to be objective and not take it personally (how come everyone is telling me that lately??) I explained to him how I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells, and while he did get mad about that, he said he'd try to make things a little easier going. He's trying things like breathing excercises, meditation, and keeping a calendar of how he's feeling. For that part, he wants me to tell him when I observe things like particular body languages which indicate he's getting irritable - setting his jaw, furrowing his brow, dirty looks. I'm a little worried about telling him he's doing those things. I know he'll blow up (see walking on eggshells...) He promised he wouldn't, but I know what will happen.


Even stuff that was supposed to be fun got kind of messed up. Tuesday I went to San Antonio with DocD, her husband (who needs a TVS nickname!) and an old friend of theirs from back home. I was in a pissy mood because of the fish feeding fiasco, so I had not a lot to say. (Hope their friend didn't think I was a tool!) Anyway, it was fun, but freakin' hot, and HeWhoHasNoNicknameYet took a spill on the sidewalk. This would normally be no big deal, except for the fact that the poor guy is dealing with hell-on-earth back pain. Hopefully he didn't injure anything else. Then, on the way home, we noticed that the sky was sort of... BLACK, which is, ya know, not exactly normal. It was hail. Large hail. We were in HeWhoHasNoNicknameYet's new-to-him car - a nice car it is, too. But now I guess it looks like it's got a bad case of cellulite. BAH!


Somewhere in there, HB and I independently bitched out MS for his incredible stupidity. I told him how he scared us, how HB thought he had OD'ed in his bathroom. I was crying while I was telling him this. He got very quiet, and apologized - like really apologized. He said he was really upset, and he didn't care if he died right then. (Is this histrionic or real? I couldn't tell, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.) He said that he wasn't blaming me, but the situation between us made him so angry and confused that he just wanted to forget about it and everything else. He said he was tired and he just wanted to sleep, or somehow get away. I believed this. My friend Emily had been in a very similar situation once and she did exactly the same thing. He told me I was like a mirage, and I told him he was like an oasis with a poisoned spring. (That didn't go over too well.)

More problems... another friend met a person who could possibly become a "significant other". But, there's an issue. I guess you could call it an engineering problem. I really don't know what to say about it. All I could do was offer up scientific facts.



Goddamn drama!


Always,

S