the veiled sibyl

I have heard and said more inanities, since you took me in tow, than in all the rest of my life.

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Monday, August 07, 2006

"Won't someone please think of the children?"

This is about a subject that seems to be coming up a lot lately: children and respsonsibility. I touched on this briefly a few days ago, but now it's time for a full-on rant.

Now, I don't have kids, so maybe I shouldn't even be saying anything. So this is just my opinion, so don't be offended by anything you read.

First of all, I think kids are a choice. Even if they are "accidents" they are choices. You decide to have them, or you decide to have sex which results in them. Your choice.

When you have kids, your life changes whether you want it to or not. You now have another human being that you are responsible for. You have to accept that responsibility. That might mean you don't get to have as much fun as you used to and you don't have the freedoms you used to, but you have to come to terms with that and act like what you are: A parent.

Sure, you can still go out and have fun sometimes. Hell, you probably need the break. But you can't be going out every night, leaving your kid(s) here, there and everywhere. You can't be staying out all night looking for drugs and sex. If you do come home, you can't be so drunk or fucked up that you pass out on the floor in front of them. You can't be so hungover the next morning that you can't wake up and feed them.

If you must insist on doing all that, then for fuck's sake, don't bitch and cry when the state or your family intervenes and removes your kids from your (lack of) care. Don't whine about not getting to see them. You should have paid more attention to them when you had them with you, and less attention to how much was in your glass and what was on the mirror.

Think about it. Do you really want your kids having images of Mommy or Daddy puking in the toilet, or downing a handful of pills, or worse?

I got angry with a friend of mine the other day and told him I thought it was "disgusting" how he takes no responsibility for his kids. In reflection, I guess it's really better that he's completely absent from their lives. God knows what kind of messed-up they'd be if they actually lived with him.

Everyone makes mistakes. Make them, that's fine. But fucking pay attention and LEARN from them. Do you want your kids to be just like you? You shouldn't. No one should. Everyone should want their kids to be better than they are - smarter, happier, richer, whatever. But at least try to set the bar a little high for them.

You're going to be a role model for them whether you like it or not. You're going to set an example for them whether you like it or not. You're not perfect, but for their sake, try your hardest to bring them up the right way.



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