Formerly Rational and Sane

Hellboy and Spanish, our second-favorite on-again, off-again couple are OFF again. Wednesday he called me and asked if he could stay at our house. His car had broken down, so Spanish brought him to San Marcos to work - she had just moved into a new place that day so it was no problem for her to bring him. Only now, she was "acting like a bitch" and HB thought he might need and escape plan. I said sure. He didn't show up. But Thursday night was a different story. DxB picked him up from work and they went to buy beer. HB talked about Spanish for HOURS and drank and drank and drank. Mind you, he also bitched about how crappy his job was, how crappy his previous job at our work was, and how crappy his new side-occupation (legal assistant) was. All he did was complain that everyone was putting too many demands on him all the time. He was bitching a blue streak about the lawyer he's working for (Mr. September's friend - who hired him based on Mr. S.'s recommendation...). We tried to point out that maybe he should be a little greatful to this guy for giving him the job in the first place, but he was having none of that. So after a dozen (Really. A dozen.) beers and three hours, HB FINALLY went to bed. Next morning he woke at 6 am and raided my fridge, drinking 5 beers before going to work.

Out of pure kindness (or stupidity, don't know which) I told HB that I would drive him to the auto parts store and haul him back to his apartment so he could fix his car Friday after work. When I picked him up that evening to take him back to Austin, he was completely wasted - he had paid a coworker to buy him a six pack after lunch and sat there at work drinking all afternoon. I had to stop and get gas, and he went in and bought MORE beer! And as if it wasn't bad enough, he made a total ASS out of himself by yelling (in the parking lot which was full of people) that some girl in the store was a "cunt" and a "fucking whore". Good God... and it was only 5 pm.

So, we get the part, and I get him to Austin. I call Mr. September and BEG him to take HB off my hands. So, HB and I go over to Mr. September's place and immediately, HB starts berating Mr. S - he bitched more about the lawyer, he bitched because Mr. S wouldn't give him the phone number of some little 19 year old coke-head slut he wanted to hook up with that night. (Spanish had deleted her number from HB's phone...), the bitching just went on and on and on. Finally, he stumbled out the door (Oh, did I mention he'd been drinking this whole time?) He wouldn't let us take him home, and he wandered off in search of whatever... Mr. S was worried, but frankly I was relieved to be rid of him.

Saturday passed and I heard nothing from HB. Then on Sunday I get a call from him - I don't answer. He left a message asking if I could drive him to the auto parts store - AGAIN! (I was at home... 20 miles away...) Then I get a frantic series of calls from Mr. S. He asked if I had an extra key to HB's. What? (Get ready, this one is fun!) Here's what happened. After leaving Mr. S.'s house on Friday evening, HB went over to hang out with one of his crack-head friends. Not sure on the timeline, but somewhere in there, the hookers showed up. Again, not sure about the logistics, but by Sunday morning, the hookers ended up at HB's place, and had locked themselves in his apartment and wouldn't leave until he gave them some money. HB called Mr. S. and demanded that he both help him and to call me to come help him...

I told Mr. S. to tell HB to F-off, I wanted nothing to do with that situation. Then HB got pissed off at Mr. S. blaming him for everything - the crack head friend, the hookers, etc. And why was this all Mr. S.'s fault? Simply because five years or whatever ago, Mr. S. introduced HB to the guy who is now a crack head. Of course, at the time, this guy was just a regular joe - NOT a crack head...


All I can say is What. The. Fuck.


Always,
S