You asked

Oh shit, y'all - it's not even noon yet. . .

JoeToe just walked into DxB's lab and said, "I've got a presentation in like, 10 minutes, and I'm going to be showing the mass spec data that you did. I need you to tell me what to say about it - like, what is it and everything." Several fissures formed on DxB's face, then he handed JoeToe a 500-page mass spec book and said, "Read this." Priceless.