the veiled sibyl

I have heard and said more inanities, since you took me in tow, than in all the rest of my life.

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like a dripping faucet

Friday, February 18, 2005

Inamorata

How y'all doin'?

I'm trying out Firefox, the new browser that everyone's been shitting their pants over, and I gotta say that so far, it's no better than Explorer. Everyone said it was so fast, but it seems to take forever to open pages with a lot of content, and if the page has flash - you might as well go make a sandwich or something. . . It has all kinds of little additional stuff like tabbed bookmarks and RSS feeds, but that stuff just gets on my nerves. Maybe I'll suddenly see the light or something, but hey, it's free, right?

(I realize how boring this update is - but do realize that I could be telling you about learning cascading style sheet codes, so just shut up and keep reading.)

It's been a little while since I gave you a JoeToe and Hellboy - A Love Story update, hasn't it? Last week JoeToe came up to me with his chest jutted out like he had a ramrod somewhere uncomfortable, and I asked him what the shit was wrong. He said he noticed that Hellboy had a very upright stance and he was going to adopt that posture for himself. ("I just really like the way he looks when he's walking." - no shit, he actually said that.) I told him he looked like he was trying to show off his boobs. (I like that link, I'm going to have to try that out myself. . .) Annnnnd, that annual convergence of carnality and science that we call TGS is coming up, and guess who will be sharing a room?? Yep, Old JoeToe's hopes and dreams may soon be coming to fruition when he finds himself alone in Dallas with Hellboy. Bass taping for all, as I like to say!

Along those lines (I loooove the segue. . .) I've talked about this before and now here's the (soon-to-be) World Famous SHAMOS Joto Scale. In the RL version, there are little pictures of each and every one of you marking your level of masculinity (as perceived by SHAMOS) and it is updated weekly. Since it was going to be a real bitch putting all those little pics on the JPEG, here's the text version of the rankings:

Soduc: 0 (Seriously. . . you know her balls are bigger than yours.)
DxB: 1.1 (Maybe I'm biased. . .)
RW: 1.3 (There is Calgon in his bathroom. . . )
Cakes: 2.1 (Bought a Valentine's day card at Walmart at 6:50pm on 2/14/05.)
YHA: 3.2 (Loves velvet shoes, loves power tools more.)
Sunrise: 3.5 (Pink blouses? Oh, how disappointed we are in you!)
Hellboy: 3.7 ("Sometimes I wish I was gay. It'd be a lot more fun that way." - don't even ask me...)
Okashii: 4.0 (Admitting the chocolate thing was gay helped your score.)
Spigot: 4.8 (RIVERDANCE WOOL CAP!! RIVERDANCE WOOL CAP!!)
Poopie: 5.0 (so completely asexual we didn't know what to do. . . )
ManFriend: 7.0 (Always changing - he was the initial inspiration for the Joto Scale. . .)
LEP: 7.5 (My only feminine female friend!!)
MrWrong: 9.8 (Some might say wearing fishnet stockings is a good way to prove that you are all man. Those who say that would be. . . wrong.)
JoeToe: 10+ ("You know it, Big Boy!" - 'nuff said.)



Without further ado, heeeeere's your Friday links:

We're all old farts around here, so this little time waster should bring back some fond memories. (Well, maybe not fond memories. . . it may in fact dredge up some horrible recollections of adolescence that you thought you'd safely buried years ago alongside your Rick Sringfield t-shirt and your parachute pants. But hey, those are YOUR issues.)

And if the eighties isn't your thing, but you harbor a not-so-secret desire to resurrect that cultural highpoint of the 70's that was Disco, then this tutorial from Norway may be just what you need to get your dancefloor chops back. Things really get funky' about two thirds of the way through . . .

But, I have to warn you - don't dare attempt your boogey nights without this vital attire. For crying out loud, the last thing you want after a night of doin' the hustle is to be a victim of telepathic war!!

The truth is out there,
S

1 Comments:

Anonymous LEP said...

Feminine? HA!

11:15 PM  

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