You got the fear, man.
Okay, so everyone knows about my stupid moth phobia, right?
I'm afraid of moths.
(All moths, not just stupid ones as my intro sentence implies.)
Anyway, I had to buy some hair dye this weekend, so I went over to Sally Beauty Supply. The store is positioned kind of strangely - there's this weird wall that juts out in front of the windows making a little entry alcove thing. Anyway, right as I passed the wall and put my hand on the door to open it, I felt this sudden rush of panic. I quickly looked over my left shoulder and saw a huge brown moth on the wall of the alcove. It was about 5 inches across, and was right about eye level. I was maybe four feet away from it - waaaay to fucking close!
I sort of panicked and rushed into the store. My heart was beating hard and I was trembling just a bit. Then I realized something... I was fucking TRAPPED in the store!! I knew that thing was out there, and I couldn't imagine how I was going to walk past it again!! (Haha - as I type this I'm getting the chills!!)
I wandered through the store, picked out my dye and such, always looking out the window to make sure that the thing hadn't moved. I was really freaked out - but at least I realized the hilarity of the situation. I thought about calling Doug or Dawn and telling them how I was being held hostage, but decided it would be a pretty bad idea to let all the other shoppers know about my idiocy!
Finally, I worked up the nerve to buy my stuff and get the hell out of there. I put my hand on the door, took a big breath, carefully pushed it open, then FLEW out of there like my ass was on fire! I'm sure the people in the shop thought I was a crackhead from the way I was acting! I think I finally breathed again when I got IN my car.
Whatta freak!
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Now I know most of you DON'T know this, but I also have a mild phobia about dead fish and fish fins. (Why yes, I do use fish in my research and I do have to kill them all the time... what of it?) I'll get to the origins of this little problem in a bit, but let me just say that fish fins, especially big fish fins, look like moth wings to me. (And, I am well aware that I am nuts, thank you very much.)
So, I was watching a nature show on the other night about "weird animals" or some shit, and one of the animals they profiled was the flying fish. There were some scientists in a boat with a big light and all these crazy fish were popping up out of the water and swarming around the light. Suffice it to say, the wing/fins of these flying fish were very mothesque, especially with them "flying" all around that spotlight. I was so freaked out that I let out a huge groan and I couldn't even think about looking at the TV. I was soooo creeped out by it - my God, I couldn't even look over at the table to find the remote to change the channel, lest I should glimpse those moth-fish in my peripheral vision! Ugh!
Okay - the dead fish phobia. I'm not exactly sure how this came about, but it could very well have started with my Mom's famous fish dinner. My lovely Japanese mother cooked us an equally lovely fish dinner one night which consisted of a whole, entire, intact fish baked on a plank. The problem? The fins... They were sticking straight up in baked rigor mortis. Fucking NASTY. She brought it to the table and I screamed. And yeah, the dead cold eyes didn't help a bit either. There's just something seriously wrong when your food is LOOKING at you... From that day on, dead fish just freaked the hell out of me. Thank you, Mom.
Always (frightened),
S
I'm afraid of moths.
(All moths, not just stupid ones as my intro sentence implies.)
Anyway, I had to buy some hair dye this weekend, so I went over to Sally Beauty Supply. The store is positioned kind of strangely - there's this weird wall that juts out in front of the windows making a little entry alcove thing. Anyway, right as I passed the wall and put my hand on the door to open it, I felt this sudden rush of panic. I quickly looked over my left shoulder and saw a huge brown moth on the wall of the alcove. It was about 5 inches across, and was right about eye level. I was maybe four feet away from it - waaaay to fucking close!
I sort of panicked and rushed into the store. My heart was beating hard and I was trembling just a bit. Then I realized something... I was fucking TRAPPED in the store!! I knew that thing was out there, and I couldn't imagine how I was going to walk past it again!! (Haha - as I type this I'm getting the chills!!)
I wandered through the store, picked out my dye and such, always looking out the window to make sure that the thing hadn't moved. I was really freaked out - but at least I realized the hilarity of the situation. I thought about calling Doug or Dawn and telling them how I was being held hostage, but decided it would be a pretty bad idea to let all the other shoppers know about my idiocy!
Finally, I worked up the nerve to buy my stuff and get the hell out of there. I put my hand on the door, took a big breath, carefully pushed it open, then FLEW out of there like my ass was on fire! I'm sure the people in the shop thought I was a crackhead from the way I was acting! I think I finally breathed again when I got IN my car.
Whatta freak!
--------------------------------------------------------------
Now I know most of you DON'T know this, but I also have a mild phobia about dead fish and fish fins. (Why yes, I do use fish in my research and I do have to kill them all the time... what of it?) I'll get to the origins of this little problem in a bit, but let me just say that fish fins, especially big fish fins, look like moth wings to me. (And, I am well aware that I am nuts, thank you very much.)
So, I was watching a nature show on the other night about "weird animals" or some shit, and one of the animals they profiled was the flying fish. There were some scientists in a boat with a big light and all these crazy fish were popping up out of the water and swarming around the light. Suffice it to say, the wing/fins of these flying fish were very mothesque, especially with them "flying" all around that spotlight. I was so freaked out that I let out a huge groan and I couldn't even think about looking at the TV. I was soooo creeped out by it - my God, I couldn't even look over at the table to find the remote to change the channel, lest I should glimpse those moth-fish in my peripheral vision! Ugh!
Okay - the dead fish phobia. I'm not exactly sure how this came about, but it could very well have started with my Mom's famous fish dinner. My lovely Japanese mother cooked us an equally lovely fish dinner one night which consisted of a whole, entire, intact fish baked on a plank. The problem? The fins... They were sticking straight up in baked rigor mortis. Fucking NASTY. She brought it to the table and I screamed. And yeah, the dead cold eyes didn't help a bit either. There's just something seriously wrong when your food is LOOKING at you... From that day on, dead fish just freaked the hell out of me. Thank you, Mom.
Always (frightened),
S
posted by your humble author | 9:15 AM
1 Comments:
I know you hate moths, but I can see the cashier having a wtf look on her face. That was the funniest image I had in a while.
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