Bollocks in a Marmite Jar

"So as soon as the vending guy comes, John goes to like, every machine on campus and buys these candies. . "

"Kit Kats."

"Right, Kit Kats - he buys like, every Kit Kat from every goddamned machine in the building."

"He has this like, bankroll of ones and he stuffs them into the machines like he's at the Yellow Rose, right?"

"Totally. So, he comes back to his desk with like, 40 Kit Kats, and this friggin' carboy of coffee."

"Yeah, it's like a gallon of coffee!"

"With sugar."

"Yeah!"

"So his desk is just covered with Kit Kat wrappers, 'cause he's like chain-eating them with the coffee, and the motherfucker is like, 'Man, I don't know why I'm always on edge!' Goddamn, dude!"

"I know it's like you could sweeten your fucking tea with Dude's piss man."