the veiled sibyl

I have heard and said more inanities, since you took me in tow, than in all the rest of my life.

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like a dripping faucet

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Oh Abandoned Blog!

Man, I hate it when RL interferes with my internet time. . .

Here's some random crap remind you what it's like to read this "blog":

1. Sunrise was right about people with names that end in "y". (Mean girls.)
2. Personally, I'd rather be Calypso than Circe. (Obligatory Odyssey reference.)
3. Strunk and White's Elements of Style slit its wrists in my bathroom last night. (Veiled apology to students of English.)
4. I really need to choke on some cheese. (Inside joke.)
5. WTF??!! OMG =w=z BH is teh SUX0R!!!!!!! (Idiotic IMspeak)
6. "Out of the way! I will ruin this bird with my ANGER!!" (Unexpected Snail courtesy ATHF)
7. And sentences that begin with "and" and this - and this . . . and "Speaking Of" (Sheilisms)

Okey dokey. Ready?

The Great Communicator

JoeToe is taking Speech Comm and was very excited about giving his first speech last week. He practiced a bit of it in front of me, and best I can figure it was about new treatments for depression? I could be totally wrong about that though. All I know is that it was peppered with a lot of those words that don't really mean anything, like "paradigm" and "skill sets". At one point he was describing various conventional treatments for depression, using highly clinical terms, so he "brought it down to their level" by making the following analogy: "Pharmacological suppression of symptoms is fine, but what it comes down to is, 'How do you get the lobster to walk on the earth?'" (sssssssszzz. circuits fried.) He asked me if I thought that analogy would go over "their" heads - I told him I had no fucking clue what (if anything) he was trying to say, so YES - his audience would be tres confused.

After he gave the speech, I got the whole play-by-play description - including hand gestures and podium thumping. (Again, I had no real concept of what he was talking about - isn't that kind of a bad thing as this was supposed to be an "informative" speech??) He told me what a great job he'd done and how his communication skills were his absolute best asset. (I am NOT making this shit up - I really wish you guys could meet this wack-job.)

So yesterday, he came in very depressed (guess he didn't get the lobster to walk the earth?) because he's gotten his speech grade. Guess what he got?? It was a "D"!! A "D"!!!! Who in fuck's name gets a "D" in Speech Comm? At SWT? Sweet Jesus! Then he told me that class average was 85 and that there were "obvious grading discrepancies". I was feeling snarky, so I suggested that perhaps his professor was biased against him because he was a "scientist". Boy did he jump on that! He concluded that his professor was against him because he presented "real science" whereas everyone else's topics were just so much bullshit. I jokingly told him he should complain to someone about discrimination. Of course, he took it seriously and right now he's composing a letter to the university ombudsman. . . (I know that karma will get me for this!)

That's enough for today. I don't know what in the hell I'll write about after JoeToe leaves - IF he leaves. . .


Russell J. Heater
September 17, 1926 - April 20, 1990


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