the veiled sibyl

I have heard and said more inanities, since you took me in tow, than in all the rest of my life.

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like a dripping faucet

Monday, September 26, 2005

Waitin' for a Superman

Screw this crap I've had it!

What a week. I've been sort of wacko for a couple of weeks - not sleeping, not eating, doing a million different things at once - you know the story. It started when the Southeast Wind came to Austin with those two little laminated cards... None of you (excepting the Wind herself) know what the hell I'm talking about, and I'm not going into it other than to say that it was not a repeat of '02, nor was it a repeat of '94 - but rather somewhere in between. Regardless, that's where it started - where it always starts: Death by Water.

Will the fight for our sanity be the fight of our lives?

Home is the Cyclone. You've all been to Astroworld, right? It looks good until you get right up to it and you see the wood is chipped and the paint is peeling. You get on the ride, thinking "it has to be okay, right?" And you're shaken and bumped and tossed around - you just know that at the next curve the whole creaking thing will collapse into a pile of red, white, and blue toothpicks. But it doesn't. Somehow, it survives - you survive - and against all reason, you get in line for another round. You think, "Well, it's been here forever - it can't fall down."

Is it getting heavy? Well I thought it was already as heavy as can be.

And there's this lava dome and you just wait for the liquid earth below to be released. A huge explosion that leaves a smoldering caldera, or a slow ooze - you don't know. So you wait, and wait, and wait for something to happen. But the DG isn't negative, honey - you gotta add energy to that sucker to get it going. (Sorry about the PChem reference.)

A spoonful weighs a ton.

Energy. You start digging at that wall of rock above you. But it's slow going because your tool of choice is a spoon. Little bits fall away here and there, but it's not enough to make a difference. That dome is too thick, too much for just one little spoonful at a time.

I like you way too much.

Then a storm blows in and confusion reigns supreme. Something you thought you had under control is now completely detached from reason. You don't even know what you're doing - like you've split in two, and one half of you just goes with the flow while the other half says "What the Fuck?" Death by Water version 2.

How stupid is it? I can't talk about it.

And you ask the winds, and the West Wind screams "NO!" but the Southeast Wind - oh that dastardly Southeast Wind - she says "go".

Oh to realize that something in ending within us...

And during the drizzle you have a series of ideas - small epiphanies. Funny, because the source is the last place you'd ever look for clarity. (Sometimes it takes chaos to destroy chaos.) You see, finally, what you've been told for so long but didn't understand. Now back to the Cyclone with your newfound insight - or are too tired to stand in line again?

'Cause in reality there was no reaction.

And you do nothing. Frustration leads you to fling yourself against that wall, flailing around like a bat in a belfry. You're getting absolutely nowhere now, and all you're doing is wearing yourself out.

She had withered all away.

But you wonder if there's going to be any effort by anyone else or are you all on your own? Is it punishment? Because now you understand. But if no one cares by now... And you cry? We don't like that at all.

I stood up and I said Hey! Yeah!!

So then another epiphany. This time - screw the spoon! Screw the flailing! You buy a bulldozer. You will wreck the wall this time. You make charts and graphs and draw out your plans - but plans are just plans. Energy. Don't forget that.
Wonder if you can make oil and water mix?



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