Are you just gonna hang around here your whole life?

It seems like all the doors to all our labs and offices are broken or damaged in some way. Everything from the electronic locks not working to door knobs falling off – you name it, we got it. There’s one door in the Stock Center that we haven’t been able to use for weeks. The building maintenance guys came by and “ordered parts” back in August, but we never heard from them again. So for now, it has a sign that says, "Don’t use this door except for emergencies".

So yesterday, one of the elusive maintenance guys comes up to Soduc, our secretary, and says, “Uh, you gotta problem with a door?” Like I said, every damn door here has a problem, so she tells him that we have several problems with several doors, and asks which he’s referring to. He says, “Uh… I think it goes to room 4-something?” Well, no shit, genius. Here on the fourth floor, most of the doors do indeed go to room 4-something. They finally figure out that he’s supposed to be dealing with the stock center door and then the questions started. He asked her what they were supposed to do to the door, what was wrong with it, what part did they order and from where, why the previous guy didn’t fix it… on and on. She finally said, look – you are the repair person – you should know the answers to these questions, not me. I just want the door fixed! He paused for a while then said this:


“So, uh – so what’s the ultimate goal for this door?”


Stunned silence. Well, except for PeeGee and me trying not to DIE from holding our laughter in. Soduc gave him the stink-eye and said, “The goal is to be able to go in and out of the door.” Well goddamn! Who’d’ve thunk it??

Always,

S